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Writer's pictureKateryna Aloshyna

Don't let people dictate your future!

A few weeks ago, I talked a little bit about this on social media. As usual, one small phrase from a person made me think of it.

There is a lot happening in our modern society. There are some things that negatively influence our lives, but there is more freedom in our choices. A lot of us didn't have it when we were growing up, and some are still dealing with it.

I remember that family of Doctores that lived in my apartment complex who always wanted their daughter to be a doctor, and they were very disappointed with her choice of profession.

But I know there are still families and places that pressure young adults to become someone specific that they think would be the best for them.


I know not all of us know who we want to be in the future when we are 18 years old, and our parents decide for us, or our living location will dictate the need for a certain profession. And because we don't discover our passion early in our life, we listen to what other people have to say.


But when we do give in and go with not what we want but what was dictated by others, two things usually happen:


1. We hate our job, but we are afraid to give up.

I remember this story about a chiropractor who chose his profession because his father had a chiropractor's office. His father wanted to path his business and hundreds of loyal clients to him. So he studied for eight years and worked for 10, but never really liked it or enjoyed it in any way. But giving up on something like that had so much mixed feelings. Guilt in front of his father, guilt in front of his family, it has been bringing good money, and he was the provider. Fear for "what if there is nothing better for him." And we keep living our life like that... just because. Long, unhappy life.


2. We make a significant step and break the chains.

We put all our courage together to break the chains and pursue what is important to us. And still some years of education might be what we could consider lost (but nothing is lost...) and our parents or environment could be disappointed at first.


Don't get me wrong! Your parents wanted the best for you, and probably that is why when you hesitated, they were there to decide for you. They did it for many years, and it comes so naturally.


Then there are places like that too. For example, you were born in a tourist town, and everyone expects you to work in hospitality because that is what is needed at that specific point in that particular place.

Don't give up on yourself!

It is ok not to know who you want to be when you are 18. However, the best way to find out is to explore and try different things before you realize what is really your calling and your passion. Don't be afraid to change careers and places. You might find out that you don't belong even to the country that you were born in... just like I did. And let me tell you this: "It is the best decision I made."


If you just came to this realization that what you were doing is not you at all, and you are in your 30th, 40th, or 60th, there is still time to find YOURSELF!

A life coach can help you to find your place in this world and make a plan on how to transfer from where you are to where you want to be.




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